I really wish our brains worked the way they do in Inside Out. I want yesterday's church service to be a core memory. I never want to forget what happened.
Funny enough, it started out as an usual church service. We went through the habitual Scripture memorization and teaching, both led by my friend's mom. We learned from Psalm 9:1-10 yesterday.
Psalm 9
For the director of music. To the tune of “The Death of the Son.” A psalm of David.
1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
3 My enemies turn back;
they stumble and perish before you.
4 For you have upheld my right and my cause,
sitting enthroned as the righteous judge.
5 You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.
6 Endless ruin has overtaken my enemies,
you have uprooted their cities;
even the memory of them has perished.
7 The Lord reigns forever;
he has established his throne for judgment.
8 He rules the world in righteousness
and judges the peoples with equity.
9 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
10 Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
We started talking using these verses to talk about how powerful God is and how much He cares for us, which led to a discussion about the homework assignment my youth pastor gave us last Sunday. He wanted us to write about what Jesus meant to us, why we needed Him, and to also choose Scripture that related to our testimonies. I couldn't wait to start after church because I immediately knew what I would be writing about. However, I had no idea we would be presenting them in front of everyone. When I heard that would be a requirement, I immediately wished I could go hide in a corner. I was not prepared to share at all. Being the kids they are, my little sisters in Christ begged harassed asked nicely for me to share what I've written, so I reluctantly gave in.
The next thing I knew, I was up talking in front of everyone. This was the first time I've ever shared my testimony with others, so of course I was a nervous wreck. My testimony is directly related to how God redeemed me through a very dark season in my past, so I got all choked up as I began to speak. I was only able to get out the three main points of what I wrote before I was to overcome with emotion to speak. When I was done, I was bombarded with hugs by my younger sisters in Christ. I have seen them each grow immensely in their own unique way of big love over the past year, and it's amazing. I really hope they will each continue their journey of learning how to love others well.
Back to the story: I was also nervous about sharing with them because until yesterday, I hadn't really seen evidence that God was working in their hearts.
I had no idea I was about to hear amazing things. Everyone shared tidbits of wisdom that I didn't know they had in them. I immediately knew that I was wrong, and that the Holy Spirit was definitely working inside of them.
I will always treasure what my younger siblings in Christ shared, but I will never forget what my younger brother shared. He talked about how watching the news every night made him frustrated because he wasn't really seeing God in any of it. I've seen him do life at home, and based on what I saw, I had almost given up hope that he still wanted to pursue Jesus. Hearing him share definitely renewed my faith in what God was doing in his life.
It took me a few moments to fully comprehend everything he was saying. I had no idea he still had a passion for seeking Jesus. It was all I could do from crying at that point, and my tears came for the second time that morning. I'm usually the only one that cries at church, so I was surprised when I heard my youth pastor comment on how one of my younger sisters in Christ reacted to my brother's sharing the same way I did.
One of the many lessons I learned from my mentor Kara is that tears are the evidence of love in a relationship. Witnessing my sister's tears introduced me to a tenderness in her that I had never seen before. Even more of my tears came in that moment.
It took almost an hour for everyone to share their stories, so worship got pushed back a bit. I like things to run on a tight schedule, so I usually would be upset once I noticed worship was postponed for that long. I didn't even care about that yesterday; my heart was too full after hearing everyone's testimonies.
My prayer is that what I saw yesterday is only the beginning. One of my heart's deepest desires is for the kids at my church grow up to be amazing men and women that will always live out the gospel. I always want to remember yesterday's church service as a reminder that God is still working in my younger brothers and sisters when I'm struggling to believe so.
Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for my church. Thank You for letting me be a part of it for almost 7 years. Even though we're just a humble house church, I know You are still working among us. I pray You will continue Your work so the next generation of our church will be able to start off strong. I pray our friendships with one another will always be built upon You. My prayer for us as a group is that we'll all be able to help one another to go deeper in our faith as we grow up together. I pray we may always be willing to show big love, kindness, and grace to one another, especially when it's hard.
Lord, You know how much these kids mean to me. Please help me love all of them like You do, especially when they need to experience Your love the most. I pray You'll guide all of us to grow into the men and women You want us to be. May we always be lights to everyone in our lives who don't yet know You.
In Your Name,
Amen
