"...but Mom says that I still have another year and that, 'a lot can happen in a year.' I think she is trying to prepare me for the inevitable."
~Millicent Min, Girl Genius by Lisa Yee
I'm going to be honest... I've been avoiding this post. This past year has brought me to new lows I've prayed I would never reach. But this past year has also been amazing in so many ways. There are many things I'm proud of including but not limited to:
~Surviving senior year with my 6 AP exams that I had to take in the midst of my grief
~Getting the courage to get up in front of my classmates and talk about two of my biggest role models
~Also getting the courage to share the letter I wrote to my classmates a few weeks before graduation
~taking the initiative to be more outspoken about the issues that are important to me.
Walking across the stage at graduation was such an amazing feeling. I still remember that day so vividly. I felt so blessed that my grandparents were able to see me walk across the stage. Both sessions of Camp Judah were amazing this year as well. I really enjoyed getting to know everyone in my cabin during senior camp and watching younger brothers and sisters in Christ grow closer to Him during junior camp. I'm not sure how, but camp keeps getting better summer after summer. I'm really hoping this trend can continue~
A lot of amazing things have happened in my Facebook prayer group as well, including the birth of a long awaited rainbow baby that was born at the beginning of the month. Her momma's pregnancy was not an easy one, and I was anxious with every update that was shared. But when I got the news that the baby I had been praying for over the last few months was finally in her momma's arms, I was so overfilled with joy. I cried tears of joy as I read the news and I couldn't fall asleep that night because I was so excited.
I'm not going to lie though: there was a lot of hard intertwined with the joy. Looking back on all the goodbyes I've had to say this year has made me lose my breath. Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe the world has had to let go of so many beautiful souls, most of them children.
One of those amazing people that have entered eternity this past year was my dear friend Rowan. I've posted about him before. Things have gone downhill in the last few weeks. His first transplant failed, so a second one was attempted. Unfortunately that didn't go too well either. He passed away due to its complications. He has impacted me so deeply; hearing the news that he passed away was not, and has not been easy. He's constantly on my mind. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive a whole year without him this side of Heaven, but I'm glad I don't have to walk this hard journey alone. I know Jesus is with me every step of the way.
Lord, as hard as this year was, I'm so thankful for everything You've done. Thank You for being so faithful even when I'm not. I couldn't have made it through this year without You. I pray that in 2017, You may continue working in and through me. I pray I may get the chance to tell more people about You and that some of the people I talk to will choose to follow You. I pray that the prayers of salvation I've been praying for months will be answered in 2017. I pray I may be more aware of what You're doing in my life and that I may be able to take action whenever You need me to. I pray I may be able to face this new year with confidence instead of fear. In Your Name, amen.
