To My Fellow Seniors

I have so much to say; where do I start?

I guess I'll start by apologizing. I know it’s weird to start off like this, but I really do regret the fact that I never really made the most out of the time that I got with you all. Hearing about some of your hards throughout this past school year and reflecting back on all the times I could have shown up for you has been hard for my heart. I want to put an end to that trend and start anew. The last thing I want to leave high school with is the feeling that I may have hurt some of you. If that's the case, don't be afraid to come to me about it. I am more than willing to repent if it's needed. After thinking about it for a very long time, I thought I would write to you all before we go our separate ways. I’ve had the privilege of sharing my heart with others before, but this is my first time doing it with such a large group. Please give me grace as I try to express my jumbled thoughts.

Something that I’ve been pondering for months is community. Ever since we first met, I felt distance from you all because of the hard I was walking through at the time. Don’t blame any of yourselves for this though; it’s none of your faults. I now understand why I felt that way. If I never went through the hard I was dealing with at the time, I would have never been traveling the path I’m on now. If I’d never walked this path, I would have never learned how beautiful life really is. I would have also never gained the eyes to recognize that beauty among us.

I don't know about any of you, but a lot has happened to me since we first met all those years ago. Not all of it has been easy, but I know it’s still all worth it. There are still days when my grief over everyone in my life who has gone before me is so close to the surface that it physically hurts. I sincerely hope you never have and never will experienced the pain and heartbreak I have walked through. Despite my pain, I know that this was how beauty was supposed to grow in me. I have no doubt that each of your stories are beautiful as well. I pray you may be able to find the beauty in your own story, no matter how messy or complicated it is. I pray each one of us will not be ashamed of the scars we carry from our pasts, but that we may be able to use those wounds to help us grow. Not just grow as individuals, but also grow as a community. I remember all of us struggling to find our footing when we first stepped into Barker, but we managed to figure things out pretty well over the years. I love the community that has developed among us over the years. My hope for us as a class is that we may go deeper into the relationships we currently have with one another. I pray the bonds formed in this season of our lives may continue to grow even as we part ways after graduation. I hope we may continue to learn how to love one another well even if we are hundreds of miles apart. I pray we may be able to build strong relationships based upon trust and vulnerability. If you notice someone who is struggling, don't be afraid to pursue their hurting heart and ask them about it. I know it’s a hard muscle to learn, but pursuing others and loving them in all their messy and brokenness is always worth it. Genuine happiness and joy are often found after traveling a hard road with someone you love. I pray we may all be willing to walk each other through our hards as we grow up.

I pray this new season we’re heading into will teach us to embrace the joys of life. Not just in the big things like walking across the stage at graduation, but the small things as well:

~A coffee date with friends
~Sharing a meal around a table full of people that love you
~Turning up the loud music up and dancing as you make dinner
~S'mores and stories around a campfire
~Something on Instagram that speaks to your heart
~The friends who know the good, bad, and ugly in your story and are still by your side today
~A beautiful sunrise or sunset
~Driving past beautiful scenery
~Something to laugh about when you least expected it

No matter how hard and desperate things may seem, grace can always be found. Suffering is not the absence of goodness. I pray we may never take anything for granted and that we may be able to find the little bits of goodness that are sprinkled into each and every day of our lives. I pray we may be able to to learn the art of treating everyone in our world with kindness, especially when it's hard.

I pray some of you are already walking with Jesus. If you are, I pray you may always be near to Him. I hope you may still be able to make time for God in the midst of your busyness. I pray you may always seek Him whenever your heart grows weary. He is the well that never runs dry. As a new season of your life starts, I pray you may learn your own mind, your own strength, and how Jesus will carry you when you reach the limits of that strength. I pray your faith may deepen to a depth I can only imagine. Don’t be afraid to pour out the love that Jesus has lavished upon you into those in your life who are hurting. We are called to love like He loves, which a selfless love that pursues the broken-hearted.

If you have made it this far into my words, thank you for sticking through and being willing to hear my heart. I want close by sharing one of my favorite songs. It greatly embodies what I want to say as we all go our separate ways. I pray God may bless each of us in whatever we decide to pursue with this gift of time that we have been given. I also pray we may be granted the grace to gather again 10, 20, and even 50 years from now. May we all have peace over any fears we may have about this new chapter of our lives.

Blessings,
Yahan