Review for Her Texas Family

Her Texas Family by Jill Lynn

I am so glad I didn't let my procrastination get to me when I heard about the opportunity to review this book. I loved Her Texas Family so much, I finished it within a few days. Jill is such an amazing writer. Listening to her speak on the Mundane Faithfulness podcast and in various interviews has allowed me to learn a lot about her. (I also learned we have quite a bit in common at the same time ;)) Despite this, it was through Her Texas Family where I saw another side to Jill: one where she showed off her wit and her strong foundation in the truth of the gospel all at the same time. 

I loved the characters in Her Texas Family. I immediately fell in love with Mattie because she was so much like me when I was her age. Graham is such a good father that it was hard for me to not like him. (The fact that we both have a passion for medicine drew me towards to him as well.) Also, reading about Graham's love and grief for his late wife brought a bittersweet reminder of Jason to my mind. And Lucy… Let's just say that she’s the person you'll have a love-hate relationship with because of how she can be at times ;) 

I am not one to like romance novels, but I definitely give this one 5 stars. Run -don't walk- to get your copy. You won't regret it~

A Day I Never Want to Forget

I really wish our brains worked the way they do in Inside Out. I want yesterday's church service to be a core memory. I never want to forget what happened. 

Funny enough, it started out as an usual church service. We went through the habitual Scripture memorization and teaching, both led by my friend's mom. We learned from Psalm 9:1-10 yesterday. 

Psalm 9

For the director of music. To the tune of “The Death of the Son.” A psalm of David.

1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;

I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.

3 My enemies turn back;

they stumble and perish before you.

4 For you have upheld my right and my cause,

sitting enthroned as the righteous judge.

5 You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;

you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.

6 Endless ruin has overtaken my enemies,

you have uprooted their cities;

even the memory of them has perished.

7 The Lord reigns forever;

he has established his throne for judgment.

8 He rules the world in righteousness

and judges the peoples with equity.

9 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble.

10 Those who know your name trust in you,

for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

We started talking using these verses to talk about how powerful God is and how much He cares for us, which led to a discussion about the homework assignment my youth pastor gave us last Sunday. He wanted us to write about what Jesus meant to us, why we needed Him, and to also choose Scripture that related to our testimonies. I couldn't wait to start after church because I immediately knew what I would be writing about. However, I had no idea we would be presenting them in front of everyone. When I heard that would be a requirement, I immediately wished I could go hide in a corner. I was not prepared to share at all. Being the kids they are, my little sisters in Christ begged harassed asked nicely for me to share what I've written, so I reluctantly gave in.

The next thing I knew, I was up talking in front of everyone. This was the first time I've ever shared my testimony with others, so of course I was a nervous wreck. My testimony is directly related to how God redeemed me through a very dark season in my past, so I got all choked up as I began to speak. I was only able to get out the three main points of what I wrote before I was to overcome with emotion to speak. When I was done, I was bombarded with hugs by my younger sisters in Christ. I have seen them each grow immensely in their own unique way of big love over the past year, and it's amazing. I really hope they will each continue their journey of learning how to love others well.

Back to the story: I was also nervous about sharing with them because until yesterday, I hadn't really seen evidence that God was working in their hearts. 

I had no idea I was about to hear amazing things. Everyone shared tidbits of wisdom that I didn't know they had in them. I immediately knew that I was wrong, and that the Holy Spirit was definitely working inside of them. 

I will always treasure what my younger siblings in Christ shared, but I will never forget what my younger brother shared. He talked about how watching the news every night made him frustrated because he wasn't really seeing God in any of it. I've seen him do life at home, and based on what I saw, I had almost given up hope that he still wanted to pursue Jesus. Hearing him share definitely renewed my faith in what God was doing in his life. 

It took me a few moments to fully comprehend everything he was saying. I had no idea he still had a passion for seeking Jesus. It was all I could do from crying at that point, and my tears came for the second time that morning. I'm usually the only one that cries at church, so I was surprised when I heard my youth pastor comment on how one of my younger sisters in Christ reacted to my brother's sharing the same way I did. 

One of the many lessons I learned from my mentor Kara is that tears are the evidence of love in a relationship. Witnessing my sister's tears introduced me to a tenderness in her that I had never seen before. Even more of my tears came in that moment. 

It took almost an hour for everyone to share their stories, so worship got pushed back a bit. I like things to run on a tight schedule, so I usually would be upset once I noticed worship was postponed for that long. I didn't even care about that yesterday; my heart was too full after hearing everyone's testimonies. 

My prayer is that what I saw yesterday is only the beginning. One of my heart's deepest desires is for the kids at my church grow up to be amazing men and women that will always live out the gospel. I always want to remember yesterday's church service as a reminder that God is still working in my younger brothers and sisters when I'm struggling to believe so.

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you so much for my church. Thank You for letting me be a part of it for almost 7 years. Even though we're just a humble house church, I know You are still working among us. I pray You will continue Your work so the next generation of our church will be able to start off strong. I pray our friendships with one another will always be built upon You. My prayer for us as a group is that we'll all be able to help one another to go deeper in our faith as we grow up together. I pray we may always be willing to show big love, kindness, and grace to one another, especially when it's hard.

Lord, You know how much these kids mean to me. Please help me love all of them like You do, especially when they need to experience Your love the most. I pray You'll guide all of us to grow into the men and women You want us to be. May we always be lights to everyone in our lives who don't yet know You. 

In Your Name, 

Amen

Goodbye 2015

As 2015 is drawing to a close, I've been reflecting on the events of this past year. A lot has happened both in my heart and in my own life. Because I'm me, I've been trying to prepare my heart for the year ahead. I still remember the moment from elementary school when I found out I would be graduating from high school in 2016. As much as I'm ready to move on with my life, seeing 2016 over and over again still gets me every time. I'm anticipating a lot of change in this upcoming year, and I'm hoping a lot of it is for the better. I have big dreams for my college years~

I know I've already said this, but a huge thank you to those of you who have supported me throughout this whole year. I honestly couldn't have done it without you. You are all gifts of grace to me that I never for one second deserved. ♥ Lastly, thank you Jesus for bringing me through this year. I couldn't have done this without You either. You have totally fulfilled some of my heart's deepest desires this year. Please teach me to continue trusting You with the dreams that have still yet to be a reality.

Best wishes to you and yours for 2016~

What I'm Thankful For

I'm not going to lie; this past year has not been easy. Despite this, I still have a ton to be thankful for. I've always tried to have a grateful heart for what God has blessed me with, but since it's that time of year, I thoughts I would share my heart with y'all.

Even with everything I've had to push through this past year, I am so thankful for:

~God's faithfulness and timing- One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn over the past year is to give up my own sovereignty and trust in God's. I know He knows the desires of my heart, and I trust they will come to bloom in His time because His blessings have constantly showed up for me at the right time, especially when I definitely didn't deserve it.

~Amazing people in my life- My immediate family and my church family have always been a huge blessing. Even though they annoy me at times, I still love them to pieces. My online friends and the Mundane Faithfulness Community have also been amazing. Even though I've only gotten to know them all through the Internet, we've had a ton of meaningful conversations together and everyone's been great support to me through my hard.

~My health and safety- Even though I had to have surgery when I was very young, everything has been perfectly fine since. I have also been so blessed to not have never been in a seriously dangerous situation. I know this is all because of God's protection over me. Thank you Lord~

~Amazing role models in my life- I have been so blessed to witness amazing men and women of God do life and have them mentor me in my own walk of faith. Some have directly mentored to me, while others mentored me without even knowing it. Nonetheless, I am so grateful to have older brothers and sisters in Christ who will I can trust to always help me focus my eyes on Jesus.

~The promise of Heaven- I was dreaming of what Thanksgiving would like in Heaven just last night. I really hope people celebrate it there, because I got all excited as I was daydreaming. Also, someone in the Mundane Faithfulness Community brought up something a while ago about how we were all invited to her MFC party in Heaven. I can't wait to finally meet everyone~

I'm sure there are things I'm thankful for that haven't made it onto this list because of how forgetful I can be. I sincerely hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving will have an amazing one~

What are you thankful for despite the hard in your life? Do you often take the time to take your eyes off your struggles and focus on the blessings instead? Are there ways you could try to be more thankful throughout the entire year?

My Just Show Up Story

Argh, I broke my promise, as usual. I've started a personal journal recently, so I haven't been posting here as often as I promised.

For those of you that know me personally, you know I love the blog Mundane Faithfulness. God has done so much in my heart through Kara's story. About a month ago, Kara's friend Blythe started a Facebook group for all of us who have come to love Kara's story. I love interacting with other people who want to pursue Jesus even though they're walking their own heartbreak. Kara's new book that she wrote together with her Jill came out this month, and to stay with the book's theme of how to show up for others in their suffering, Blythe has asked everyone in the Mundane Faithfulness community to share their "Just Show Up" stories. I think it's time I share mine...

I've had a lot on my heart recently, but because of my shyness, it's hard for me to share what's going on with anyone. A lot of the people in my life aren't Christians, so I have trouble being open around them since a lot of my struggles have to do with my faith. It's also hard for me to share my heart with anyone at my church because all the other kids are still young; I don't want to burden them.

Even though the kids don't know my struggles, they constantly show up for me. My story has to do with one particular Sunday. All the details are a bit fuzzy since it was a few Sundays ago, but I remember the basics. Because it's hard for me to find venues to share my heart, I tend to keep things bottled up. Everyone reaches a maximum point where they can't keep it in anymore. For me, that's usually during worship because that's when I get the chance to sing out my heart to God. Sometimes I don't have the strength to sing out loud though. When that's the case, I just sit there with tears streaming down my face as my heart quietly sings along to the songs.

That was me the Sunday after I found out that my extended family most likely wouldn't be able to visit like we had originally planned. Having them visit was an event that I had been looking forward to for months, so I was devastated when I found out it wasn't going to happen. There were other burdens on my heart that Sunday, so those only added to my already heavy heart. I think I cried more that Sunday than in any other worship service.

And my friend was there with me the whole time.

She didn't know exactly what I was going through, but she showed up nonetheless and just hugged me through my tears. And for that I am extremely grateful. If you're that friend and you've somehow stumbled across this post, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You may be 5 years younger than me, but you've showed up for me in a big way that I will never forget. I love you sweet girl.

Grace Shows Up

Hey everyone,

Sorry for not posting during the past few weeks, I've had stuff going on again. xP School has also started, so if I disappear, that would most likely be the reason. I'll try my best to post every 1-2 weeks or so though.

A lot has happened since I last posted. For one, I'm excited about how God is still working through Kara's blog, Mundane Faithfulness even after she went Home to live with Jesus. Her friend Blythe, who inherited the blog, created a Facebook group for everyone who has been touched by Kara's story to gather together. It's only been three days and there are currently just over 4,000 people in the group; it's amazing. I am usually pretty hesitant about being added into groups on social media and I usually don't participate much either, but once I heard about the Mundane Faithfulness group, I couldn't wait to get started. I was overwhelmed by how accepting everyone was when I introduced myself and brought up a few prayer requests. I immediately knew I belonged.

When I first joined, I didn't expect to meet people my age. Of course, God exceeded my expectations and led me to not 1, but 3 other young women around my age who have also been touched by Kara's story. Since a lot of the people my age in my life aren't Christians, I've been praying for the chance to get to know other Christian teens and walk together with them in faith. We've only been talking for a few days, but I think the group chat with just the four of us may be the answer to my prayer.

Speaking of prayer requests, I have one for one of the new friends I made through the Mundane Faithfulness group. Her mentor/"second mom" Cathy has been fighting metastasized stage 4 breast cancer, and is nearing the end of her battle. Thinking about where Haley is now reminds me of where I was 6 months ago on my birthday. That's when it hit me that Kara didn't have much time left. Even though I've never know her personally, I consider Kara as my mentor because of all of the lessons she had taught me through her blog and The Hardest Peace. Replaying that one and a half week period leading up to her Homecoming brings back so much every time I flashback to it. I couldn't imagine what Haley was going through since she has so many more memories of her together with her mentor. So if you could keep her in your thoughts and prayers, that would be really great.

God has provided me grace in other areas of my life as well. If you don't know me personally, you will quickly find out that my grades are really important to me. I've only been a high school senior for less than a month, but I've already seen God's grace in action. After my first AP Calc BC test, my teacher warned us that he may not allow us to do corrections depending on our class average. I studied as much as I could and tried my best, but I still didn't do well. Therefore I was devastated when my teacher said he would not allow us to do corrections. However when my friend told me that she somehow got 3 extra points back on her test, I was a bit confused and decided to check my grades online (because why not?). I clicked on my grade for Calc, and I saw 2 assignments there: the original test, and one for getting points back. I totally did not expect that. I asked another friend if our teacher changed his mind, and she said he did.

Grace also showed up in AP Chem and in AP Lit. We took a quiz based on the summer assignment we had to complete in Chem, and after talking to a friend about it, I wasn't sure I did well. However when I got it back the day after, I was surprised that I had gotten the question I was worried about correct, and that I had only made a minor mistake on another question.

In Lit, I was really worried that I didn't do well on a quiz I recently took . Lit is around 11:30am for me, which is usually when new Mundane Faithfulness posts are up. The day I had the quiz was also the day I got my Calc test back, so the thought of it only added to my stress level. When I went on Mundane Faithfulness after my quiz, I saw that day's post, and it felt like God was using the post to directly speak to my heart. While reading Kara's words, I was reminded of what I had learned at Camp Judah that summer: to not worry about what happens during the school year but to trust in Him and His strength.

God has been so good to me.

Thank Yous and Prayers

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus. I was on vacation for 2 weeks, and my parents didn't let me bring my computer with me. We did a lot of driving over our trip, which meant a lot of time for me to think. It also gave me a chance to revisit a book I read in 8th grade, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. I liked the book in 8th grade, but nothing really sunk in when I read it that first time. This time, after a few years, listening to the audiobook helped a lot to resonate with me. (I don't know why, but if I hear something someone says, it tends to stick with me better than if I read it off a page.) I just happened to be listening to Tuesdays with Morrie when it was getting close to (or on, I can't remember) the anniversary of Kara's diagnosis. A lot of the lessons Morrie taught Mitch reminded me of the lessons I learned through Mundane Faithfulness. I then wondered if Kara had read Tuesdays with Morrie since a lot of what they both taught were similar. (And in the words of Morrie, we're all Tuesday people ;) ) I guess I'll have to add asking her to my list of things to do once I get to Heaven.

A while ago at camp, something in my heart was telling me that God was calling me to do ministry right on PFQ. I've been talking with some people, and I think I'm am where I'm supposed to be. Everyone on PFQ has a little trainer card where they can post status updates, and when I see something like "Not in the best mood" or "Need someone to talk to" I try to step in and see if there's anything I can do to help. I've done that a few times already, and I tried to encourage people the best that I can (with the Holy Spirit's guidance, of course). I've been friends with someone on PFQ for a while, and even though he's younger than me, we're both similar in the fact that we both like to think big thoughts. He recently shared with me a truth he came to realize about something that was going on in his life, and when I read it, I was thankful that he had learned the lesson that he did before it was too late. Then as we kept talking, I realized that this was the kind of friendship I had been praying for all along. We get along pretty well, and we're able to share our hearts honestly with each other while having fun at the same time. For some reason, that made me think of the other things amazing things God has done in my heart and in my life recently, and I thought it would be a good idea to list the prayers of my heart and words of thanksgiving for what God's done in my life. I guess I should stop rambling and start.

Thank You God for...
~letting me be a part of PFQ's community and being salt and light to hurting hearts there.
~my friendships on PFQ, especially mine with SuperK1. Thank you for introducing me to someone who is fun to talk to, loves You, and is willing to think big thoughts about our faith with me.
~a wonderful vacation to Yellowstone. I loved getting to spend time with some of my closest church friends and enjoying the beauty of the national parks with them.
~reintroducing me to Tuesdays with Morrie. I'm glad I've matured so much spiritually since the first time I read it and was able to get so much from it as a result.
~introducing me to Kara. Even though I don't know her personally, she has taught me so much and has helped me go deeper into a relationship with You.
~letting me know that it's ok to cry. The pain cuts so deep some days that I can't help it. Kara has taught me that tears are evidence of knowing love, and even though she's in Heaven now, I still love her and miss her a ton.
~planting seeds of wanting to pour out big love onto people in my life before I met Kara and having her blog help guide me as I continually try to find more ways to show love to them.
~The kids at church. They're all a lot of fun, and I love growing in my faith and doing life with them.

Lord, I pray...
~ that SuperK1 and I would continue our friendship and that we may both mature spiritually as a result of our friendship
~for someone I know on PFQ. She recently had to let go of a loved one. Even though I know she's not a Christian, I pray that she may be able to experience Your grace in her life. I pray she may also know Your comfort and peace as she tries to find her footing in her new normal without the person she had to let go of.
~for Tabitha Mori's friend. I know that you are capable of healing her father. I pray that he makes a quick recovery and that her friend may experience You in the midst of her depression and be able to know just how much You love her.  I pray that her family may be able to know Your comfort and Your peace as they walk through this hard.
~for all my church friends, especially my girlfriends. I pray as we grow older physically and mentally, we'll be able to grow in our faith as well. Authentic, godly community my heart's desire for us as we grow older together. I pray that will be possible even as we grow up and leave home to fulfill whatever You have planned for us in that new season of our lives.
~for Kara's community. I know they have settled into their new normal without her, but I know that hard days will come. I pray that they would be able to feel Your presence among them when their hearts are hurting.

Wow, that was long. Thanks for sticking with me through this long post~