Grace Shows Up

Hey everyone,

Sorry for not posting during the past few weeks, I've had stuff going on again. xP School has also started, so if I disappear, that would most likely be the reason. I'll try my best to post every 1-2 weeks or so though.

A lot has happened since I last posted. For one, I'm excited about how God is still working through Kara's blog, Mundane Faithfulness even after she went Home to live with Jesus. Her friend Blythe, who inherited the blog, created a Facebook group for everyone who has been touched by Kara's story to gather together. It's only been three days and there are currently just over 4,000 people in the group; it's amazing. I am usually pretty hesitant about being added into groups on social media and I usually don't participate much either, but once I heard about the Mundane Faithfulness group, I couldn't wait to get started. I was overwhelmed by how accepting everyone was when I introduced myself and brought up a few prayer requests. I immediately knew I belonged.

When I first joined, I didn't expect to meet people my age. Of course, God exceeded my expectations and led me to not 1, but 3 other young women around my age who have also been touched by Kara's story. Since a lot of the people my age in my life aren't Christians, I've been praying for the chance to get to know other Christian teens and walk together with them in faith. We've only been talking for a few days, but I think the group chat with just the four of us may be the answer to my prayer.

Speaking of prayer requests, I have one for one of the new friends I made through the Mundane Faithfulness group. Her mentor/"second mom" Cathy has been fighting metastasized stage 4 breast cancer, and is nearing the end of her battle. Thinking about where Haley is now reminds me of where I was 6 months ago on my birthday. That's when it hit me that Kara didn't have much time left. Even though I've never know her personally, I consider Kara as my mentor because of all of the lessons she had taught me through her blog and The Hardest Peace. Replaying that one and a half week period leading up to her Homecoming brings back so much every time I flashback to it. I couldn't imagine what Haley was going through since she has so many more memories of her together with her mentor. So if you could keep her in your thoughts and prayers, that would be really great.

God has provided me grace in other areas of my life as well. If you don't know me personally, you will quickly find out that my grades are really important to me. I've only been a high school senior for less than a month, but I've already seen God's grace in action. After my first AP Calc BC test, my teacher warned us that he may not allow us to do corrections depending on our class average. I studied as much as I could and tried my best, but I still didn't do well. Therefore I was devastated when my teacher said he would not allow us to do corrections. However when my friend told me that she somehow got 3 extra points back on her test, I was a bit confused and decided to check my grades online (because why not?). I clicked on my grade for Calc, and I saw 2 assignments there: the original test, and one for getting points back. I totally did not expect that. I asked another friend if our teacher changed his mind, and she said he did.

Grace also showed up in AP Chem and in AP Lit. We took a quiz based on the summer assignment we had to complete in Chem, and after talking to a friend about it, I wasn't sure I did well. However when I got it back the day after, I was surprised that I had gotten the question I was worried about correct, and that I had only made a minor mistake on another question.

In Lit, I was really worried that I didn't do well on a quiz I recently took . Lit is around 11:30am for me, which is usually when new Mundane Faithfulness posts are up. The day I had the quiz was also the day I got my Calc test back, so the thought of it only added to my stress level. When I went on Mundane Faithfulness after my quiz, I saw that day's post, and it felt like God was using the post to directly speak to my heart. While reading Kara's words, I was reminded of what I had learned at Camp Judah that summer: to not worry about what happens during the school year but to trust in Him and His strength.

God has been so good to me.

Thank Yous and Prayers

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus. I was on vacation for 2 weeks, and my parents didn't let me bring my computer with me. We did a lot of driving over our trip, which meant a lot of time for me to think. It also gave me a chance to revisit a book I read in 8th grade, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. I liked the book in 8th grade, but nothing really sunk in when I read it that first time. This time, after a few years, listening to the audiobook helped a lot to resonate with me. (I don't know why, but if I hear something someone says, it tends to stick with me better than if I read it off a page.) I just happened to be listening to Tuesdays with Morrie when it was getting close to (or on, I can't remember) the anniversary of Kara's diagnosis. A lot of the lessons Morrie taught Mitch reminded me of the lessons I learned through Mundane Faithfulness. I then wondered if Kara had read Tuesdays with Morrie since a lot of what they both taught were similar. (And in the words of Morrie, we're all Tuesday people ;) ) I guess I'll have to add asking her to my list of things to do once I get to Heaven.

A while ago at camp, something in my heart was telling me that God was calling me to do ministry right on PFQ. I've been talking with some people, and I think I'm am where I'm supposed to be. Everyone on PFQ has a little trainer card where they can post status updates, and when I see something like "Not in the best mood" or "Need someone to talk to" I try to step in and see if there's anything I can do to help. I've done that a few times already, and I tried to encourage people the best that I can (with the Holy Spirit's guidance, of course). I've been friends with someone on PFQ for a while, and even though he's younger than me, we're both similar in the fact that we both like to think big thoughts. He recently shared with me a truth he came to realize about something that was going on in his life, and when I read it, I was thankful that he had learned the lesson that he did before it was too late. Then as we kept talking, I realized that this was the kind of friendship I had been praying for all along. We get along pretty well, and we're able to share our hearts honestly with each other while having fun at the same time. For some reason, that made me think of the other things amazing things God has done in my heart and in my life recently, and I thought it would be a good idea to list the prayers of my heart and words of thanksgiving for what God's done in my life. I guess I should stop rambling and start.

Thank You God for...
~letting me be a part of PFQ's community and being salt and light to hurting hearts there.
~my friendships on PFQ, especially mine with SuperK1. Thank you for introducing me to someone who is fun to talk to, loves You, and is willing to think big thoughts about our faith with me.
~a wonderful vacation to Yellowstone. I loved getting to spend time with some of my closest church friends and enjoying the beauty of the national parks with them.
~reintroducing me to Tuesdays with Morrie. I'm glad I've matured so much spiritually since the first time I read it and was able to get so much from it as a result.
~introducing me to Kara. Even though I don't know her personally, she has taught me so much and has helped me go deeper into a relationship with You.
~letting me know that it's ok to cry. The pain cuts so deep some days that I can't help it. Kara has taught me that tears are evidence of knowing love, and even though she's in Heaven now, I still love her and miss her a ton.
~planting seeds of wanting to pour out big love onto people in my life before I met Kara and having her blog help guide me as I continually try to find more ways to show love to them.
~The kids at church. They're all a lot of fun, and I love growing in my faith and doing life with them.

Lord, I pray...
~ that SuperK1 and I would continue our friendship and that we may both mature spiritually as a result of our friendship
~for someone I know on PFQ. She recently had to let go of a loved one. Even though I know she's not a Christian, I pray that she may be able to experience Your grace in her life. I pray she may also know Your comfort and peace as she tries to find her footing in her new normal without the person she had to let go of.
~for Tabitha Mori's friend. I know that you are capable of healing her father. I pray that he makes a quick recovery and that her friend may experience You in the midst of her depression and be able to know just how much You love her.  I pray that her family may be able to know Your comfort and Your peace as they walk through this hard.
~for all my church friends, especially my girlfriends. I pray as we grow older physically and mentally, we'll be able to grow in our faith as well. Authentic, godly community my heart's desire for us as we grow older together. I pray that will be possible even as we grow up and leave home to fulfill whatever You have planned for us in that new season of our lives.
~for Kara's community. I know they have settled into their new normal without her, but I know that hard days will come. I pray that they would be able to feel Your presence among them when their hearts are hurting.

Wow, that was long. Thanks for sticking with me through this long post~

Summer Grace

Dear Summer,
Thank you for showing up after a hard school year. I need time before senior year to recharge. You bring slow summer mornings, a nice pace of life after months of running around every morning to get ready for school. At the beginning of every summer, I make a to-do-list for myself to accomplish by the end of the summer. I am almost certain that there will be some things I will not have gotten to. Please provide grace so I won't be too hard on myself when I realize that some things have been left unfinished.

With all this extra free time, I strive to get closer to God as well. This past week at camp I really experienced God and it makes me want to pursue Him more. This summer I'm going to start spending some quiet time in the morning with God. I pray that I will be given grace to hear what He wants to say to me every morning and be able to apply His words to my daily life.

Summer also means watching America's Got Talent. It's one of my favorite shows because it's very unique. I've seen so many interesting acts. I've also seen some pretty amazing talent too. Last summer I saw some very young singers on the show and they became my inspiration to continue singing. I've also seen acts that used their time on stage to show off their talents for God's glory. They are willing to put down themselves by recognizing that their talent is from God. I'm still learning how to put myself down to follow God.

In a few short weeks, my family is going to explore the West Coast with some friends. I am really looking forward to the trip because I get to travel with friends. (As they say, "The more the merrier") The preparation will be chaotic, but it will be worth it. Our parents have been planning this trip for months. I'm excited to see where their plans will take us.

Lastly, I truly believe that summer is the best opportunity to discover who you are outside of the classroom. I really hope grace will show up and help everyone on their own journey of self-discovery.

Looking forward to big things,
Yahan

Camp Judah

This past week I was at Camp Judah. (It's a week long sleepaway Christian camp.) I've been there several times before, but I believe this summer's senior camp was the best camp experience I've ever had (so far anyways). So much has happened during the past few months, I just needed to get away for a week and rest in God's presence. I also enjoyed a week with other teens who also loved God. That was probably what I enjoyed the most. I got to share things with my cabinmates that I normally wouldn't be able to share with my friends back home. I also laughed a lot this week. My favorite part of the week was probably Thursday night right after our annual slip-and-slide. We usually do it in the afternoon, but the directors wanted to switch it up and do it at night instead.

After dinner, all of Team Caleb got together for one last team entrance to the slip-and-slide. While we were getting into our positions, I saw a huge chunk of soap bubbles from the slip-and-slide tumble down the hill towards where we were gathering. I had a mixed reaction to the falling soap. One half of me was thinking "Oh crap, what if it hits us?" the other half was amused that bubbles were rolling down the hill. Unfortunately, the second half of me eventually took over and made it hard for me to not laugh as we were all in line ready to enter the soccer field. The bubbles ended up delaying our entrance by a half an hour, but they were a lot of fun to play with. The actual slip-and-slide was a little annoying though. It was freezing and no one could hear anything that the adults were saying. Even though we were only the third group of cabins to go, we decided to head back to our cabin after because it was getting late. We went to the showers to clean off and then we went to bed.

That's when the fun began (again). Everyone was so tired from the day and the whole week that our brains were just fried. Our counselor stepped out for a shower and we talked for the longest time about the most random things. Because people at camp kept saying a lot of funny things throughout the week, I started writing them down in my notebook. Thursday night held the record for most quotes in the shortest amount of time. (I had written down a handful of them in just a few minutes)

Of course, we talked about Nigel in the midst of our sleepiness. Nigel is a dinosaur that belongs to one of my cabinmates. (I'll post a picture when I transfer it from my camera) He comes up in a lot of our conversations. I'm not sure why, but he always seems to make our cabin laugh.

Another great thing about camp is that I can always guarantee that God will show up at least once throughout the week. Before camp, I was very weak spiritually because of events that had taken place the last few months. Camp allowed me to refocus my mind and my heart back on God. I learned that it's ok if things aren't perfect, that I should always trust God because He knows the whole scope of things that I can't see. I also learned to trust in His strength and not my own. Before camp I was so worried about how I was going to handle all the classes I had on my schedule for this upcoming school year. But at camp, I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 and felt God speak to my heart words along the lines of "Don't worry about how past events could impact your future. You can lean on Me and My love to get through this year"

God really used camp to help ease my worries by not only letting me forget and have fun, but also for speaking words into my heart that I desperately needed to hear. This past week will always have a special place in my heart.

Grace in the Midst of Hard

Today's grace letter is about how grace showed up in the midst of a hard season in life.

Dear Grace,
Thanks for always showing up, especially during that week after Kara flew away. That week was extremely hard; I swear grace was the only thing that kept me going. You showed up in so many ways.

Monday was the hardest. I promised not to cry at school and failed before I even arrived. During lunch, my bad habit of getting things over with got in the way and I took a Spanish retake I thought I was ready for. In the midst of my grief, I ended up getting everything wrong. Without knowing my struggles, my teacher extended grace to me by allowing me a retake on the retake. I was so grateful for that. That week I also had a math test that I didn't do so well on. Thank you for letting me do corrections and improve my grade.

Thank you for also letting me be able to cry and grieve during worship at Friday's Bible study. I was leading worship, and since I didn't really have words to express everything at the time, I chose songs that helped me express my heart. I cried more than I had ever cried during worship that night. A friend noticed, and asked me why I was crying so much. Because I didn't really have the words yet, all I told her was that "stuff happened that week". If you're that friend (maybe you remember who you are?), now you know the whole story.

Even though that was a hard week, thank you, grace, for helping me pull through. Thank you for also getting to know you better through Kara's story.

Hope to see you again soon,
Yahan

Next week's letter will have to be posted the following week. I'm at camp all week next week.

Love and Forgiveness

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

I'm sure most, if not all, of us have heard about the tragic events in Charleston. But what some may not know is how the victims' families responded to the tragedy. In a bond hearing, the victims' families got a chance to speak to the suspected killer, and they lived out Colossians 3:13 by forgiving him and encouraging him to repent from his sin. As I was watching the videos on CNN, I couldn't help but think, "As Christians, this is how we're all supposed to represent God's Kingdom, by showing God's love to others despite their wrongdoing" As many of my friends aren't believers yet, this encouraged me to continue showing love to them despite things they've done that hurt my heart. 

If anyone's interested, here are the videos I was mentioning earlier. I hope they will encourage you to reach out to someone in your life who needs forgiveness today.

How can you reach out to those in your life who don't yet believe today? Do you feel forgiven by God? If so, would you be able to pass on that forgiveness to others despite what they've done?

Grace Today

Dear Grace,

Thanks for showing up in so many ways today. One of those reasons being letting me write in the midst of a chaotic finals week. Yes, this week's grace letter has turned from a Tuesday Grace Letter to a Wednesday Grace Letter, but it's written.

Today I got to go home right after my Pre-Calc final. I usually have to stay at school for at least an hour to wait for the bus, but today, I was able to get a ride home from a friend. Going home early let me be able to finish a lot of the work I had to get done for my upcoming church retreat. I went to my other friend's house and got a lot done. The trivia game I'm making is almost complete, and my talent show act is coming together pretty well. I am so excited for this retreat, it will let me run away after a hard week of finals.

But just focusing on today, I got to relax. There's not much I can do to prepare for my English final since it is mostly skill based, so I get time to wind down and shorten my to-do list. I've had back-to-back exams up until now, so the break is nice. However, I'm a little worried about how I did on my exams. Please calm my anxieties when they come in the future. I know worry tends to drain a lot of my energy, and I don't want it to, especially since I need all of it for the weekend. So would you mind showing up and help me not get too stressed?

Thank you for letting me get to know another one of Kara's best friends. Today I got to hear the second half of Corrie's story. I love these "Kindred Spirits" posts. They help me get to know the people who have played a huge role in Kara's story better. Getting to know her friends has made me reflect on my own life and wish I had the same community Kara got to enjoy. Maybe that day will come soon, but today I can enjoy the grace that comes with showing love to my friends that don't yet believe. I hope some of them will choose to follow Jesus soon.

Earlier this afternoon, I went for a short run with a friend, and it was really hot. Luckily, when we met again later to go biking, it was a lot cooler. It was just the right temperature for biking. Not too hot, and not too cold. It was only slightly chilly, enough to provide a breeze to cool yourself down during your workout. It was the perfect way to end the day.

Thank you for letting me find grace in the small moments. I really enjoyed writing this letter. I hope I'll be able to find as much grace as I did today every day.

Sincerely,
Yahan

What about you? How have you found grace today? Were you able to find it in the small things in life?